Lying in the darkness,
Listening to the sound,
Of my heartbeat in my chest,
And seeing my terror unbound.
I wish that I could change my stars,
I wish that I could fight,
But I just feel fearful and lonely,
On this cold and bitter night.
This is a poem, that was written in the summer. And carries a TRIGGER WARNING for those who may struggle with night terrors or other issues.
I wrote this poem after I recently had flashbacks when I was a child. I would lie in bed at night, crying after having woken up from a nightmare, or occasionally a night terror.
Whenever I told my mother, she would not understand and I was told to “stop being so silly”. Sometimes I would run into her room late at night screaming, begging for help, and she responded with a strict tone. Oftentimes I couldn’t sleep all night, fear pinning me in my bed until the morning would come. I would then walk downstairs and tell her what I dreamt of to which She would say, “they’re just dreams, you’ll grow out of it”. This made me more frightened at night, knowing these terrors would keep coming, night after night.
Eventually, I realised that I was completely, and utterly alone.
I wish to share this with you, to create a dialogue in the community, and to normalise mental health issues. We all need a place to share our thoughts and private musings, this is mine. Where is your place to share your thoughts? Create one today and connect with the world. Click here, to find beauty in this broken world. I find sharing this through stories and poetry helps me figure things out. By writing stories, I hope that someone might be encouraged that what they’re going through that they can handle it.
There is beauty in this world, it just takes a little while to see it.
You don’t have to be alone.